THE ONLY YOUTUBE POOP FOR POOHS GRAND ADVENTURE EVER MADE FOR ERIC NAU
by TheHero136
Summary: Based off the YTP OF POOHS GRAND ADVENTURE BY ERIC NAUD THIS HILARIOUS GAG IS THE HILARIOUS NO LOGIC TALE OF POOH AND HIS FRIENDS TRYING TO SURVIVE FROM THE CLUTCHES OF ROY BATTY TAJUMARU AND THE SKULLASAURUS. 8 chapters I don't own anything and no copyright intent. Some language and mature content, BUT IF YOUR ABOVE 16 THEN IT SHOULD BE FINE. PROBABLY NOT FOR KIDS UNDER 16. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**THE ONLY **POOHS GRAND ADVENTURE **YOUTUBE POOP ANYONE HAS EVER**** MADE** _(SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO ERIC NAUD)_

"Pooh, theres something I have to tell you," said Christopher Robin.

"Is it something, nice." replied Pooh.

"NO," replied Christopher Robin.

"Then it can wait, forever and ever."

The boy was stunned and ran after Pooh saying, "Forever and ever is a very long time Poo-"

"NO," replied the bear."

"YEAH," said Christopher Robin.

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO."

"YEAH."

"NO."

" YEAH."

This stupid argument continued for a whole month and Christopher Robin gave up and didn't tell Pooh that he was leaving. That month later was the beginning of autumn. Pooh had started hibernating but had a very hard time sleeping, because he snored like a chipmunk even though he was a bear. "Leaves fell on his nose all stacked up but he thought it was a pile of cigarettes and he screamed, "WHAT THE **********." He let the leaves fall down and he caught them all and exclaimed "Its Auuuuuuutttummn." He then got out and went to the window and looked outside, summer had ended and fall "or autumn" had begun. "It is, its the first day of auttttttuuuuumn." He then ran to his closet saying, "A time of hot chocolatly morning's." He drank some hot cocoa but he forget that he was allergic to it and that it upsets his stomach. It was too late and he had to go to the bathroom and he had horrible, hot steaming diarrhea. After a few seconds of horrible pain, Pooh finally got off the toliet and jumped into a pile of leaves and he landed on a pot of honey. He then said, "Poop," and he gave a nasty fart that sounded like he was taking a dump. Pooh then said, "Somebody's left a honey pot." He then revealed his selfish side and he decided to begin eating the honey before seeing if it belonged to someone, he asked that same question soon after.

He then went to piglets house and at the door he yelled, "PIGLET, PIGLET, PIGLET, PIGLET, PIGLET-PIGLET-PIGLET-PIGLET-PIGLET-PIGLET-PIGLET, PIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGLLLLLLIIIIIITTTT."

He then knocked on the door over and over trying to get a response but nobody was there. "Piglet," he cried, "CHRISTOPHER ROBIN IS GONE." Immediately a large haycorns fell on his head and soon many haycorns fell on his head and he didn't notice at first until one fell straight in the middle of his face. He then backed away and looked at the very top of the tree to see piglet hanging onto a small branch clinging on for dear life. He then screamed, "CHHRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEERR

RROOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBIIIIIIINNNNNN."

Tigger then bounced into Pooh and greeted him saying,"Hi, yah Pooh-"

"HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP," screamed Piglet.

"Tigger didn't notice,, "He said What's up."

"Hello, Tigger-". Began Pooh.

"HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP," screamed Piglet.

Two more haycorns fell onto Pooh because of Piglets screaming.

At this point Piglet was losing his mind, nobody seemed to care that he was on the verge of death. This time he yelled as loud as he could. "HHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP."

"Oh relax, Piglet old pal," said Tigger, "Well, I just better bounce up there and get him down."

"Stand back," he continued, "this is gonna be a world record bounce. He then shot up into the sky and at that moment the branch Piglet was holding snapped, and he went down down down down. He then landed on Tigger and they both fell to the floor. This created a small Earthquake and all the haycorns on the tree fell and Pooh and his friends were swept into the new sea of HAYCORNS.

"As it clearly says," began Rabbit who was beginning a speech, when the sea of haycorns slammed into him and he along with Pooh and friends tumbled into Eyeore and his house. Eyeore was lying in an awkward position and he stared gloomily.

"Easy come easy go," exclaimed Eyeore. He then slammed into the ground but he kept bouncing up and this caused him to keep hitting the ground over and over much to his dismay. Rabbit was trying to keep his balance on the pile of acorns and he couldn't stand up straight while Pooh was reaching for his Pot of honey very slipped and he landed on his back after bouncing up and down like Eyeore.

Pooh was trying to ask Rabbit of he seen Christopher Robin but his predicament was starting to distract him like how he said, "But would you happen to have a, to have a, to have a, to have a, to have a, to have a umm...a ummmmmm..."  
Rabbit could not pay any attention because he was just trying to stand up. He fell again and was now getting up when he started to lose his balance on his foot and he crashed to the ground. "Christopher Rob-"

"NO, NO,NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO." He the tried to say beat it, beat it, beat it, as if to say "GET OUT OF THE WAY." but he ended up saying "BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM, BEAN HIM."

Pooh couldn't quite put his words together and this made Rabbit even more mad. Finally Rabbit got up and in a rage he yelled over and over, "ITS HARVEST DAY, ITS HARVEST DAY, ITS HARVEST DAY, ITS HARVEST DAY, ITS HARVEST DAY, IIITTTTSSSS HHHHHHAAAAAARRRRVVVEEESSTT DDDAAAAAYYYY!"

Tigger then tackled Rabbit and he knocked him unconscious. Feeling quite pleased with himself for such an awesome feat he began, "TI, Double GRR," eating the honey in the pot that was on Rabbit. He then froze, he was deadly allergic to honey and now he was standing with the yellow substance in his mouth and slowly going down his throat. He then realized what he did and he began spitting out all the honey that he had put in his mouth, "HONEY MAKES TIGGERS DIE," He explained to the others while placing the honey soaked note and pot onto the nearly lifeless rabbit before running off.

Rabbit then woke up and pulled the note off of him in very slow motion. He was getting upset that things were going so horribly for him. Pooh just watched him not knowing what to say. "Stupid Bear," he thought as he was pulling the honey off himself. "Oh here," he said giving the honey pot to Pooh. But he kept pulling it away from Pooh because he couldn't react quickly. He kept giving and taking the pot from Pooh while saying, "Why here, why here, hy here, why here, why here, why here."

Pooh said, "If only I could find Christopher Robin-"

Rabbit then threw the note onto Poohs face saying, "CHECK THE NOOOOOOOTTTTTEE."

But then Rabbit realized that Pooh couldn't read. He took back the note angrily and bragged, "I COULD READ THIS WITH MY EYES CLOSED." He said feeling proud of himself. "It says, ehhhemm" he then saw that it was written in Japanese but he tried to translate it anyway but he couldn't speak fluently in Japanese, so what happened was that he was saying a bunch of words that made no sense and he tried to understand what he was saying when he realized that everybody was staring and that he was looking like a total idiot. He looked at Eyeore and Piglet who were dumbfounded by what had just happened. He then looked at Pooh who had an expression like, "what are you doing." He then looked at everybody, unaware that theee was a real japanese guy hiding in the bushes named Tajomaru.

He found Rabbits predicament hilariously funny and he burst out laughing. He then pointed to Rabbit and said in Japanese, "YOU FLUNT MY JAPANESE CLASS!" He then ran off laughing and yelling until he was out of sight. Rabbit just stood there trying to find an excuse for his failure to translate.

"Well I could of read it if Tigger hadn't bounced me so," began Rabbit. He then yelled as loud as he could. "HEAR THAT TAJOMARU," He said throwing his arms back. He then grabbed his ears and nearly ripped them off in his anger. "I COULD OF READ IT IF TIGGER HADNT BOUNCED ME SO!" He yelled kicking a bunch of haycorns.

Tajomaru wasn't impressed and he kept on laughing. Rabbit was furious but he didn't care anymore because he didn't want to embarrass himself further. They all headed to Owls House. Owl was reading the note acting all giddy especially when he got to the word "far."

"Dear Pooh it begins," said Owl, "Worry about me, I'm going far, away, help. And the note is signed. Christopher Robin." Expecting an uproar for this he was stunned to see nobody cared in the slightest. Not even Pooh. "Ahaaaaaaa," He exclaimed. "I'm going to discover where he went. Hohoho he. He then started making some strange sounds like, "EHDUBADEDUHEHHHUHHE." He then stared hard at the last word. He then gasped all dramatically, "OOOOHHHH MMMMYYYYYYYYY!"

This alarmed Pooh who asked all quickly, "WHAT IS IT OWL, WHERE IS IT?"

Owl didn't reply, he only shut his window so the outside was blocked off. "How Bad." asked Pooh.

"On a scale of one to ten," said Owl who then shut the curtains to the window. "ITS OVER 9000!"

He then continued with lighting a candle. "HE HAS GONE TO S-K-U-L-L, SKULL."

"SKULL," Questioned Pooh who said the word to process what it meant to him, "SKULL, SKULL, SKULL, SKULL, SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL-SKULL. SSSSKKKKUUULLLLL? What F g place is that."

"Well, I uh, Illi uh, Illi uh, Illi uh, Illi uh, Illi uh, Illi uh, From the very sound of it is a very far away, PLLLAAACCEE!" Replied Owl, who then tried to pull the note off his feathers but it was stuck so he kept saying "Stupid note, Stupid note, Stupid note, Stupid note, Stupid note, Stupid note."

"Then we must help Christopher Robin," Exclaimed Pooh, Help THAT MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT get back. To ME!" Everybody then stared at Pooh and they were all stunned. Owl gave Pooh a weird look and he thought, "EH WHAT DID YOU SAY NOW POOH, TO YOU, YOU THINK NOBODY ELSE CARES ABOUT CHRISTOPHER ROBIN."

Rabbit then got up slightly and thought, "WHY POOH BEAR. I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE SO SELFISH."

"Poor guy," Tigger whispered to Eyeore. "His very little brain is GAY with grease."

Pooh then apologized to Owl saying, "NOO, TO HERE, AND US!"

Owl then exclaimed, "THEN ITS A QUEST IS IT-"

"NOOO," yelled Rabbit who then jumped onto owls podium, "WHO AUTHORIZED IT."

Owl was a little confused but he felt like insulting rabbit so he replied, "I'M going to AUTHORIZE it. Taha, ohhhhh, A LONG AND DANGEROUS JOURNEY." He said while searching through his house for a piece of parchment. "THROUGH THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM." He continued. "Ahh of course you'll need honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, and a MAP."

He then started drawing a map from his piece of Parchment. piglet then climbed up because he wanted to know if there were any dangerous creatures on this journey. "HEFFALUMPS," he asked. Owl was cleaning his quill but the movement of his hands caused ink to hit a piglet and he kept whimpering "UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS, UMPS."

Owl then replied HEEEEFFFFFAAAAALLLLLUUUUMMMPS, HEFALUMPS." He then proceeded to poke Piglet with his quill and each jab caused him to flinch. He then tried to show Piglet where the heffalumps were but he was acting like he was on crack and he kept saying"Down here I Fancy, You see, you see, you see, you see, you see, you see, you see, in the the uhhhh."

He was really going crazy at this point and he was trying to hoot like an owl saying, "WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO,"

"JAGGGGGGUUUUULLLLAAARRRRSSSSSS." asked Pooh.

"NOT TO MENTION THE FABLED SKULLASAURUS." Said Owl with suspense.

"SKULLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS," muttered Tigger who was trying to control himself.

"OH COME COME COME, OH COME COME COME, OH COME COME COME," said Owl.

"SKULLASAURUS ATTACKS WITH FIRST AID SHIT."

"PERHAPS YOU COULD JOIN US," asked Pooh.

"NO FUCK YOU GO AHEAD," Replied Owl who pulled a lever that opened the trapdoor that Pooh and his friends were standing on.

They then ran out of Owls house and scurried to the woods. Their insane adventure has just begun.

End of Part 1

**_HAHA, THIS FIRAT PART IS OVER. Tell me what you think. I'm trying to follow the YTP as best as I can buy I'm going to add my own elements to it. Please review and I hope you enjoy the story. _**


	2. Chapter 2

And so Pooh and his friends crossed over into well a part of the hundred acre wood which Owl called THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM. WHO KNEW HOW MUCH WORSE.

"Look," cried out Pooh. He was staring at a rock with a guys ass on the front.

"GUTSMANS ASS the map read. "If you've made it this far," Rabbit continued, "You will die." All the sudden there was light growling coming from deep within the woods which made everybody turn around and it nearly caused Piglet to faint. He tried to stay calm while asking, "What was that?"

"Sounded to hungry for the heffalump," answered Tigger. There was more growling from the woods and they all then came close together out of fear. "Too plump for the jagular." he continued. "Too gay for Gay Luigi," he then thought curiously. "I say its a big old, bogey eyed, saber toothy, Tajomaru bomb." They all then waited for something to happen, but nothing did. This caused Tajomaru himself to wonder, _"How did they figure it out?" _"Skullasaurus,' said Tigger realizing that that may be what is making the noise.

"SKULLASAURUS,' Screamed everybody. At this the Tajomaru bomb exploded and it destroyed the woods.

"Which way do we run," asked a frightened Tigger.

"WHERE DO WE HIDE," exclaimed Piglet.

"I believe that uhh, uhh that way is a good way," answered Pooh who was studying the map. "This way could be better better," he then replied after reconsidering his response. But then he experienced a predicament because he had no idea where to go but he felt pressured to give advice. "Uhh that way is a good way, this way could be better, over here, there. UHH THAT WAY, THIS WAY COULD BE BETTER, OVER HERE, THERE. UHH THAT WAY, THIS WAY COULD BE BETTER, OVER HERE, THERE.

Everybody was running in circles and flashing lights appeared and it caused everybody to nearly go insane. Finally, Rabbit understood what was going on and he yelled, "SHUT THE F*** UP!" Everybody stopped and the sky went back to normal. "Were-getting-nowhere-fast-Pooh-ehh-That-just won't do. A leader met be someone leaderly, leaderly, leaderly, leaderly, leaderly, leaderly, someone like," he then thought for a second before answering, "Tajomaru." He then thought what Tajomaru would say, he would start laughing and say, "Tajomaru navigate you guys, NEVER." A guy like him lead Pooh and friends? He then thought again, before he replied, "ME." Just then there was a massive farting noise and Rabbit stared at the map, "Well," he said before looking again, "Well, there, there, there, there there, there, there, there, as you can see we can lose him if we cut across this lovely meadow."

They then walked into a very "Lovely" meadow filled with thorns, lethal plants and evil crows. "And a lovely meadow it is commented Rabbit who almost hit a large thorn. He then saw a plant and he said, "Why look, is that a golden daphidillas, RARE FOR THIS LOCATION." Chomp and the plant bit off Rabbits head and killed him...

PSYCHE

"What exactly is this location Rabbit," asked Pooh.

"Where else would we be," answered Rabbit nervously. He then heard a mysterious voice saying "DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER, DINNER." He then asked himself, "OWL HOWWWWW ARE WE." He then concluded that he was correct in going through this weird maze and he just had to justify it. "PRECISELY WHY I CHOSE IT, NOOOOOO, SKULLSAURUS WOULD DARE FOLLOW US IN HERE. HEHEHEHE."

A SKULLSAURUS can't. But Roy Batty can.

Suddenly Rabbits ears went berserk and they became petrified with fear and they pointed sideways. Finally Piglet lost it and he started running off on his own and Pooh tried going after him. "PIGLET COME BACK COME BACK." He yelled. "Then Roy Batty ran after Piglet and mimicked Poohs voice to try to trick Piglet, "PIGLET COME BACK."

Piglet just kept on running and he couldn't control his fear. Roy Batty continued chasing him laughing like a maniac. Piglet didn't know where he was going only that he had to get out. He finally escaped Roy Batty and he ended up safe for the moment. After his unsuccessful chase with Piglet, he yelled, "FUCK." before realizing that he could use his secret weapon, this new knowledge caused him to laugh evilly.

Piglet was starting to feel at peace when he saw a weird face that looked awfully like John Cleese making a face like a butterfly. It put Piglet in a trance and it made Piglet go running up to it. He then approached a bush full of butterfly's when the face appeared. It then disappeared when Piglet started sniffing the butterfly's and when one landed on his face the John Cleese face appeared again.

Just then Pooh appeared and he cried out, "MY MY I BELIEVE YOU HAVE MADE A FRIEND. PIGLET." The face then gave a gazed at Pooh and Poohs eyes bulged out and put Pooh in a trance.

Meanwhile Rabbit was reading the map and he read, "THESE ARE THE FACES OF EVIL. Uh hmm." Just then a giant face attacked Rabbit and nearly crushed him.

"MY FACES OF EVIL." Exclaimed Roy Batty. "FIGHT THEM."

A swarm of butterfly's swarmed around Piglet and they began pulling him up. Pooh and friends didn't understand what they had to do and they all thought that the butterfly's were nice unaware that they were forms of the faces of evil. Pooh was actually smiling when the butterfly's were lifting Piglet into the air. Pooh then realized that Piglet was calling for help and that he was going higher and higher into the air. Tigger and Pooh tried to call out to him but the butterflies disguised as the faces of evil had no intention of losing Piglet and were intent on taking him to Roy Batty. "PERHAPS YOU COULD ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO BRING YOU BACK." Yelled Pooh.

Finally the faces of evil came back and they appeared. It became clear to Pooh and friends that Piglet was being kidnapped.

Eventually Pooh rescued Piglet from the faces of evil. I MAY ADD MY OWN VERSION OF HOW POOH RESCUES PIGLET IF YOU WANT TO READ IT LET ME KNOW,

DURING THAT TIME RABBIT WWENT TO A BAR WHERE HE HAD ONE DRINK TOO MANY.

"Uhhhh, THIS WAY." Rabbit said still feeling the effects of the alcohol. Tigger and the others followed but Pooh wanted to make sure Piglet was okay.

"Are you all right Piglet." Asked Pooh who was very concerned.

"No," replied Piglet. "Uhh, but saving me was uhh, very brave of you." A face of evil landed behind Piglet and nearly put Pooh in another trance. But Pooh snapped out of it and he took the face of evil which turned into a butterfly off Piglet and placed it on a flower.

"But your brave, braver than," began Pooh but he couldn't think of something Piglet was braver than. Piglet got a little exacted and wanted to know what he was braver than but Pooh replied, "IF ONLYY I COUUULLD REEEEMMMMMEEEMMBBBBEEEEERRRRRRRRR." The face of evil watched Pooh and Piglet as they disappeared.

Realizing this plan failed utterly Roy Batty yelled, "FUCK, IM GONNA HAVE TO KILL POOH AND HIS FRIENDS."

OH NO!

End of Part 2


	3. Chapter 3

This-way-and-that-way-the-map-took-them-to-all-the-places-where-Christopher-Robin-wasn't,-but-to-none-of-the-places- he-was. And still Rabbit refused to realize the map was a fuck-ing piece of shit.

Tigger and Rabbit were going to the edge of a cliff and Rabbit began to reveal his master plan while Tigger mimicked his every move. 'So-we'll-first-move-east-by-south-then-south-by-east. Of-course-minus-the-variation-plus-thhe-wind-drift-we-clearly-go,uhhhhhh, this west west west west west west west west west way. During this time the map kept closing on Tiggers nose. Rabbit noticed and the pulled the map off Tiggers face only to kept smashing it back into his face to teach him to control his impulses.

Pooh was staring at the mountains when he asked, "I wonder if those rather forbidden looking mountains might be the forbidden mountains. Where Christopher Robin is."

"No," replied Rabbit coldly. "The way to there is over here." Rabbit smirked.

Pooh felt awfully confused by Rabbits stupidity. "But Rabbit," began Pooh. "Isn't that them, over there." Rabbit couldn't accept he was wrong and his arrogance caused him to believe Pooh was the stupid one.

"Now which are you going to believe, this "Official" map, or your own eyes."

"God, I know what your thinking, Rabbit's a friggen idiot," said Tajomaru who was watching in the background. "And I am starting a Rebellion against him."

"Really said Zelda who was listening while taking out a knife.

"Oh boy I can't wait to go and kill Rabbit." Said Link who was all excited.

"Be off," said the King who allowed Link to join, but Zelda had to stay behind.

Oh yeah. Rabbit's a bit hyper.

Lights started flashing quite suddenly and Rabbit was dancing around like a lunatic seemingly worshiping the map. He had no idea that Roy Batty was trying to get Rabbit to kill himself in his insanity. He tried to get everybody to worship the map the way he did, but nobody was gonna be as stupid as Rabbit. During his dance, he accidentally got the map caught in a tree and it tore in two wnding the light flashing. When Rabbit noticed he sceamed in terror. "AHHHH, OH NO! THE MAP, GET THE MAP! WITH ONLY HALF A MAP WERE LESS THAN NOWHERE."

"After that map," yelled Tigger and he tried to launch himself after the map but his tail got stuck in a rock and he couldn't get free until after a few moments of puling. The struggle hurt his tail but Tigger didn't notice as he chased the map to a log. HE then bounced up and down over the log for some time. "I got it, don't have it," he called out. "I got it, don't have it, I got it, don't have it, I got it, don't have it." "I have it, I don't have it now, I have it, I don't have it now. I have it, I don't have it now, I have it, I don't have it now. Now, now, now, now, now, now." He continued bouncing unaware that it was a huge drop to the bottom of the massive gorge he was bouncing over. "Ill get it, No i don't, I have it." Tigger continued while bouncing over log. When he landed this time the log cracked slightly. "Hmmm," he thought. "I wonder whats causing this tail to fail. I wonder whats causing this tail to fail. I wonder whats causing this fail to tail." He then realized his mistake and he concluded that, "It's been one of those days."

Meanwhile Roy Batty gave a wolf howl in the background and it caused the log to crack again and Tigger looked down. "SHIT," he yelled. The log then broke in two and Tigger began to fall but his tail was hitting the falling log so he was bale to keep himself up for a while before falling completely. "CHHHHHRRRIIIIISSSSSTTTTOOOOPPPPHHHHHEEEEEERRRRRR RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN."

The log then got jammed in the rocks and Tigger landed on it. But Tigger's bouncy body caused him to bounce up and down while trying to catch the log. For once Tigger wished that he wasn't a Tigger. Finally after 7 terrifying seconds Tigger stabilized and he was able to hold onto the log.

Pooh was staring at Tigger below and he wanted to talk to Tigger so he called his name over and over so he could get Tigger's attention. He then said, "You could fall."

"Yeah,-well-you-know-what-they-say-what-doesn't-bounce-up-has-uh-gottta-fall-down." he then accidentally laughed like Roy Batty and that almost caused the tree trunk to collapse.

"There's-no-time-for-this-we-have-too-many-delays-so-you-just-bounce-out-of-there-this-moment," said Rabbit who wanted to turn the attention to finding the map.

Tigger laughed, but then said, "No way."

"Bounce out of there this moment," called Rabbit.

"No way," Tigger replied.

"Bounce," said Rabbit.

'No," replied Tigger.

"Bounce."

'No."

"Bounce."

'No."

"Bounce."

'NOOOOO."

"There's no time for this we've had too many delays," yelled Rabbit who was starting to get angry, "So you just bounce, out of-"

"NO WAY."

"BOUNCE," Rabbit ordered, but he lost control of his anger and he started screaming at Tigger, "YOU MISERABLE PIECE OF DICK BRAINED HORSESHIT, SLIME SUCKING SON OF A WHORE, BITCH!"

That did it, Tigger started crying ad he had to explain why he wouldn't bounce. "Okay, Okay, you got me. The truth is." H whimpered, "It's been one of those days." He then felt ashamed and he wished he was a good bouncer.

"Oh, well don't worry Tigger," said Pooh, "Christopher Robin said, I just have to remember, your. Uhhhhhh. Taller than the Egyptian." Tigger felt confused and wondered why Poo would say something like that, "Slower than Bowser. Do you feel any bouncier now." He finished.

"Nope," replied Tigger gloomily.

"Bounce up this far," Pooh encouraged, but he fell and Piglet caught his foot at the last second. "How about now?" Pooh asked.

'NO NO NO NO," replied Tigger, "NO NO NO NO, NO NO NO NO, NO NO NO NO."

Piglet then fell with Pooh and Rabbit dove down to save him. Eyeore meanwhile was watching the map fly overhead and he reached out to grab it because he thought it was food but Rabbit pulled him down too. Eyeore chomped on the root and he held on with all his strength. 'Tigger was crying but Pooh was lowered enough where he could tap his head. Tigger looked up and said, "Okay." Just as Tigger grabbed Pooh the log fell to the ground. Eyeore was grunting from holding onto the root with his teeth. He then let go of the branch to say, "IIIIII SSSSAAAAAIIIIIDDDDD OOOOUUUUUUCCCCHHH." By the time he realized his mistake, it was too late and they all fell down the huge gorge, while Roy Batty was laughing in the background. "Go to hell," he commanded as they crashed into the depths of the abyss. It seemed that nobody had survived and there was no signs of life other than a few plants. "Yes," Roy Batty said. He looked again to make sure nobody was alive. "YES," he said happily, "YES." He then thought "V_ictory at last."_

Suddenly Pigelt emerged and he rubbed the mud out of his eyes. "WHAT THE FUCK." yelled Roy Batty, _"Piglet survived."_

Suddenly Pooh emerged too, and he reassured Piglet who thought he was a monster. "Now don't worry Piglet."

"Shit," said Roy Batty who was watching overhead. _"Pooh survived too."_

"It's only me,"Pooh continued. "Ohh, said piglet who felt much better after seeing it was his friend. Three more shapes however came out of the mud and Pooh had to explain, "Now don't worry Piglet, it's only Tigger, and Rabbit, and Eyeore."

"Roy Batty then frowned angrily, "Dammit," he thought, _"None of them are dead."_

"The map," yelled Rabbit, "We have it, haha, we can go now."

"My plan did absolutely nothing what so ever." Roy Batty screamed. He then lost it and he went crazy before deciding to launch an immediate second attack. He then boomed over the skY, "HAVE A FREE SAMPLE OF MY SUPER FREEZE BREAD." A flying object zoomed overhead, and Pooh yelled, "RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY." Just then Tajomaru's rebellion arrived only to be crushed by the Super Freeze Bread, as Pooh and friends ran off in the distance. Just then a giant thought it was a good time to start humping the air in all the chaos.


	4. Chapter 4

And so Pooh and friends continued only to be blocked by a deep fog, what ridiculous shit could possibly go on, let's find out.

Rabbit emerges first and he is trying to read the broken map but he does doesn't seem to have any idea where he is. The others appeared behind and Pooh asked, "Won't you know which way that sucking, licking uncle pa, Christopher Robin is?"

Rabbit thought carefully, before replying "Uh, umm, well, I think, ahh-" but then it occurred to him that he was lost and he tried to conceal it but he feared that he was already looking like a moron. "There's this way of course," he said encouragingly. However he was stopped by a mysterious character who yelled, "IMMA FIRIN MY LAZER." A giant beam attacked Rabbit and it convinced him to look in a different direction. "But, that's the right way," he said confused before saying, "We obviously want to go this way," he said with beefing confidence. Only this time he ran into another figure who called, "GARBAGE DAY."

"Huh," asked Rabbit until the figure pulled out a gun, "NO," he cried. He escaped just in time before getting killed, "Sorry." He was now getting upset, "Oh well, we can't rule out this way." He then ran off in this new direction... Only to run into, The Joker.

"Why so serious son, let's put a smile on that face," he asked. The joker burst out laughing and he scared Rabbit enough to have him run back to the others like a coward. Trying to be optimistic, "Theres this way of course. We obviously want to go this way. Although we cant rule out this way." He realized that he was not helping so he thought about what he should do but he was getting nervous and finally he started panicking, "This way, this way, this way. This way, this way, this way. This way, this way, this way. This way, this way, th-"

Wolverine who was watching in the background, screamed out in rage before finally exploding. Rabbit trying to hold himself together smiled at the others. A halo popped other his head. He then realized that the others were frowning angrily.

One month later.

Rabbit concluded that he was in deep trouble, "Now if Christopher Robin was here what would he say, well, he'd say." Rabbit then thought about it before realizing in horror that Christopher would yell, "This is Sparta." Before kicking him into a giant pit. He ended up saying those words dramatically to everybody, "AND ITS RABBITS FAULT." He added. Trying to justify his errors he screamed "THIS SHIT, ISNT EVEN ON THE MAP, THE MAP, THE MAP, THE MAP, THE MAP, THE MAP."

"The Map," Tigger said as if to say, "We get it."

"Ahha," Rabbit wailed, "That Rabbit is just gay enough to not know where to go, or hmf hmf what to do. Uhhaa."

Suddenly everybody looked at Rabbit with pity. Even he didn't deserve this. He was trying his best to help. Finally Pooh broke the silence by trying to be nice to rabbit. "Oh, Christopher Robin said, at a time like this, all I need to do is remember."

"Remember what," asked Rabbit.

Pooh then responded by saying what he heard on T.V. once because he thought it was a good comment, "Shove it up your ugly ass."

"Shove what," asked Rabbit. He stupidly thought that Pooh was being nice.

Pooh stopped for a moment to take in how idiotic Rabbit was before replying, "Shove, the map, up your ugly ass." Rabbit then understood the comment and he frowned unhappily. "Does that help," asked Pooh.

A vaguely familiar Japanese guy who was hiding said, "It would help me."

"No," Rabbit answered gloomily, "I don't know where we are and where we aren't. And I haven't known for OVER 9000 hours. I failed us all."

"I believe, I have as well." Said Pooh sympathetically.

Rabbit then gave what was to Pooh a strange comment.

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did," said Pooh unprepared.

"When." Asked Rabbit.

"Just now."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"You didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No, you didn't."

"I'm telling you I-"

"No."

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yeah."

Tigger changing the subject said, "Without Christopher Robin we don't have a f****** chance at finding Christopher Robin." Everybody gathered together all sad, before Pooh saw a cave in the distance."

"Perhaps we can rest in there, until this shit is mostly shitless."

"End of the road," Eyeore exclaimed gloomily, "Nothing to do. And no hope of things getting better. Sounds like Saturday night at my house." They all disappeared in the fog and everything faded out.

To be continued...IMMEDIATELY.

The cave was dark and all tried sleeping, some being able to sleep much better than others. Rabbit was having a hard time not being used to sleeping like this. He used the map as a blanket and after seconds of being in uncomfortable positions finally fell asleep. Only to be awaken by, "MAMA LUIGI!"

"AHHHHH," cried Rabbit. He looked around to see some very frightening images. They then faded and he woke up very tired.

"Came to negotiate have it you slimy git." a voice called.

"Pooh Bear," asked a very nervous Rabbit.

"Look what I got," said Pooh who was standing outside. In his sleep talk he started singing, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it.I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it. I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it." It became clear to Rabbit, a crazy spartan and a magician that Pooh was going insane. The bear really believed that his honey pot, was a jar of dirt. "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it. I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it."

Finally Roy Batty who had heard his share of Poohs insanity song called out, "ENOUGH!"

Rabbit out the map on Pooh and this insanity episode finally ended.

A few hours later, Piglet woke up and decided to go for a walk. He ended up getting scared after feeling he as being watched, he turned around and saw something very very frightening. He started screaming and going nuts. This woke everybody up and they tried to see what was wrong. "Try to be specific." Asked Rabbit.

"Ski sku, skul-"

Pooh in all the chaos decided that he could sing his new song, "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it. I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it."

Pooh caught off gained got accidentally kissed by Piglet.

"A boy then called out, "WOW. PIGLET KISSING POOH BEAR."

"Shit," Piglet called while pointing up. Everybody noticed and they gasped in horror, including a group of sailors, Link, and the crazy spartan. They all screamed in utter terror at the sight they saw. The SKULL of a cute dinosaur.

"Christopher Robin is in the eye of Yoshi," exclaimed Tigger confused. "How THE FUCK the are we going to get way up there."

"By going," answered Pooh, "In there."

He then pointed to a dark cave that played very cheerful music.

"But it's dark," said Tigger.

"And frightful," added Piglet.

"And we have no idea what we'll find." Exclaimed Rabbit.

Suddenly they heard growling and Eyeore said, "But we know what's gonna find us."

"BOWSER!" Yelled Tigger.

"NO!" answered Eyeore.

"GANNON AND HIS MINIONS" exclaimed Piglet.

"NO!"

"TAJOMARU." Yelled Rabbit

"NO!"

"FUNDAL GAN," said Pooh triumphantly.

"NO!" Said Eyeore with irritation. "Maybe they don't know where to go." He thought.

One Month Later.

"The EGYPTIAN," asked Pooh."

"NO!"

"DINNER," asked Rabbit.

"NO!"

"GUTSMANS ASS." Asked Tigger.

"NO!"

"LOTTSA SPAGETTI." Yelled Piglet.

"NO!" Said Eyeore with growing unhappiness. He decided that he would not enter the cave until they all knew what was chasing them.

One month later.

Everybody was getting upset."OCTORON," yelled Piglet.

"NO!"

"THE DODONGOS." Yelled Tigger.

"NO." Said Eyeore with increasing anger.

"ROY BATTY," asked Pooh.

Eyeore was about to ah his signature answer but he stopped to think about this. Roy Batty was indeed chasing them but he wouldn't stop until he knew that the others knew what was chasing them.

"NO!"

At this a crowd burst out laughing.

"Clint Eastwood." Asked Rabbit?

"NO!"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger," exclaimed Tigger.

"NO!"

"Link," asked Pooh.

"NO!" Said a very pissed off Eyeore. "We'll be stuck here forever." He thought.

"THE SKULLASAURUS." Yelled Piglet.

"YES!" Answered Eyeore. "Finally," he thought relieved.

They all ran into the cave. What would happen. Let's see.


End file.
